Kingdoms and Principalities . . .
Q: How many Westerners does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Calontiri does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Calontiri does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Easterners does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Meridians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Meridians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Trimarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Caidans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many AnTir-folk does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Atlantians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Midrealmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Midrealmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Ansteorrans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Atenveldters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Outlanders does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Lochac-folk does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Baronies and local groups . . .
Q: How many Stonemarchers does it take to light a lantern?
Q: How many Carolingians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Ruantallaners does it take?
Q: How many from Isle du Dragon Dormant?
Knights, Laurels and the like . . .
Q: How many Barons does it take to light a candle?
Q: How many knights does it take to light a candle?
Q: How many squires does it take to change a candle?
Q: How many Dukes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Pelicans does it take to change a candle?
Q: How many Laurels does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Laurels does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Laurels does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Kings does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Queens does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Heralds does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many Heralds does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Heralds does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many exchequers does it take to light a candle?
Q: How many marshals does it take to light a lantern?
Q: How many Lists Mistresses does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Water Bearers does it take to change a candle?
Q: How many Water Bearers does it take to change a candle?
Q: How many Gold Keys does it take to change a lightbulb?
Miscellaneous . . .
Q: How many Tuchux does it take to light a candle?
Q: How many Norsemen does it take to light a candle?
Q: How many Norsemen does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many Byzantines does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many Hordesmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many Celts does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: How many mundanes does it take to change a candle?
Q: How many SCA Directors does it take to change a candle?
Q: How many Rialto posters does it take to light a lantern?
(circa
1997)
And after all that, we're still in the dark.
*grin*
A: Why would you want to do that? It's been just fine for 25 years!
A: One hundred and two, but what a ceremony!
A: The whole tribe......it's a Calontir thang.
A: Just one, but they have to take a vote first to decide who.
A: Just one, but he has to get it drunk first.
A: How ever many the Crown says it takes.
A: Leave it out, it was only attracting mosquitos anyway.
A: Nobody knows. They can't figure out what to wear to change one.
A: Just one, but the new bulb had better be a halogen fog lamp!
A: That depends, which household does it belong to?
A: They won't say until they've consulted the Curia Regis...
A: Change the lightbulb? You can't change THAT lightbulb!!! That's
Cariadoc's lightbulb!!!!
A: Was that a rattan lightbulb or a fencing lightbulb?
A: Why bother, they prefer solar power anyway?
A: If it's less than a 14 hour drive it's not worth changing!
A: Just one, but it screws in counter-clockwise.
A: Three. Aelfwine makes the frame of wood, the panels of horn, the
oil-cup of copper and the shaped flint and striking-iron. Arastorm researches the
correct 6th century way to make lanterns. Then she plants the flax,
harvests the seed, grinds it to oil-paste, processes and clarifies
the resulting oil, rets and hetchels and combs and spins and braids the
linen lamp-wick. Alizaunde then holds things up for three weeks until the
article on how to do all this is finished. Then they light it.
A: Did I ever tell you the story about Vis and the lightbulb?
A: Nobody knows; no one outside Ruantallan has ever been up there long
enough to see one lit...
A: Two. This is Quebec and we are completely bilingual.
A: None, that is what the seneschal is for.
A: None, that is what pages and squires are for.
A: It depends who's watching...
A: One to hold the bulb while the world spins around him.
A: 1. Just one, but it takes years and years of hard workand
dedication.
A: 2. None, It's O.K. I'll just sit here in the dark...
A: 3. ONE! I can DO IT MYSELF!! I don't need ANY HELP,OK?!!!!
A: None. The Laurelate has decided that it isn't really ready to be
changed yet. Perhaps in another year the quality of its light will have
deepened and matured.
A: We don't do that, it's service, get a Pelican.
A: Lightbulbs aren't period.
A: None. That's what Kings have Courts for.
A: "All members of the Queen's Guard! Assemble at the Royal Pavillion!"
A: You can't do that, it's metal on metal. *Sabine's favorite :)
A: Only one, but he'll pronounce it "Ligitt Boolb"
A: Two. One to change it and one to loudly announce that it has been done.
A: How do you plan to raise the funds for a new candle?
A: Light it? Heavens no! Hold! Fire is not allowed on the field and
what's more that entire thing needs to be wrapped in foam and duct tape.
It can only be used defensively and doesn't that handle make it a flexible
weapon...
A: What! You want it *changed*? I just got all the fields assigned!
A: I'm sorry, Water Bearers aren't allowed to change candles, but you
look like your candle could stand changing. Would you like me to get
a Chirurgeon to take a look at your candle? It's awfully red in the
face...
A: One! *pssssss* Damn.
A: Gold Key will be happy to loan you a candle so long as you return
it at the end of the event. Does anyone know where Gold Key is?
A: Three. One to hold the gasoline.......
A: Why bother with a candle? There's a monastery just over the next
hill.
A: None. We are not afraid of the dark.
A: Three, one to change the light bulb and one to confuse the issue.
A: One. *SMASH!* What light bulb?
A: If it's not plaid and not woad, we're not interested.
A: "Can't we just turn on the lights?"
A: Don't be silly. This is the 20th century. We use *lightbulbs*.
Twenty-nine:
As follows:
One to suggest lighting the lantern,
One to disagree with the suggestion,
One to get upset over the way the disagreement was phrased,
One to point out that in *his* kingdom they always treat each other with
courtesy and chivalry when lighting lanterns,
One to ask for a definition of a lantern,
One to define a lantern,
One to object to the definition,
One to insist on a citation for the
definition,
One to complain that asking for citations isn't "creative"
anachronism,
Tibor to actually provide a citation,
Hal Ravn to point out that that's not how they light them in the West,
Cariadoc to discuss cooking over a lantern,
Richard of Alder Tree to point out that the lantern ought to shine with
the glow of Arthurian legends,
Esclarmonde to remind us that the lantern probably isn't deductible,
One to flame against everyone who's posted so far,
One to flame the flamer,
One to object to flaming the flamer,
Five to start new threads about wicks, glass, oil, heat, and probably
chivalry,
Five to disagree with the new threads,
One to say that he's just moved to the lantern, can anybody help him get
in touch with the local SCA branch,
One to point out that the local branch is SCA, Inc., not Society...
This page created sometime in 1996 and last updated April 20, 2003.
Most recent submissions from Alvira of Calontir and Callum of Southron Gaard in New Zealand.